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Is this post inapropriate? Yes, flag for moderation Close. The clasp has caught on one of my layers. Suddenly panicked, I pull a lot harder on the strap and this time it came loose.

Unfortunately, the energy I exerted to dislodge it was excessive in the extreme and I ended up dramatically waving the bra above my head for everyone to see.

My teacher's jaw dropped and his whole head turned a special shade of crimson, which caused the whole class to turn around just in time to catch me stuffing the bra in my bag.

It still makes me laugh if I think back on it, and you know what? I still take my bra off like that. If I'm relaxing in the sofa and it starts to bother me, whish, whoosh, tadaa, and I'm free!

But without an audience! I have a confession to make. Please don't hate me for it, but I don't know what bra size I take.

We all know that no two brands have the same sizing and that boobs can grow or shrink depending on a whole load of factors, so personally I don't feel so bad about not knowing my size.

However, ladies in fitting rooms and women in general seem to react in shock and dispair when I admit this: How can you know know that?

What is wrong with you? So this one day I was in the mood to buy myself a pretty, delicate, fancy bra , I wanted to treat myself and get something really nice, you know, with lace and ribbons and a special color.

In an effort to not seem so crazy and out of touch with my body, I picked up a few bras that I thought would fit me and headed off to the fitting room.

As per usual, not one of them fit perfectly; they were either pinching or gaping, or you know, is there a term for a boob muffin-top?

So I plucked up all my courage and asked the boob lady to measure me and bring some similar bras in my size.

She hummed and hawed and eventually said " Oh they don't make any of those bras in your size, come out and I will show what we do have.

Apparently, the only bras suitable for my mega boobs were white or black, cotton or support fabric, with straps as wide as my shoulders and busts like parachutes.

I thanked the lady and politely pretended to inspect the options until she was out of sight and then I high-tailed it out of there. Delighted with myself for having found the perfect red dress for an upcoming wedding, I tried it on at home only to realize that the back and underarms of the dress were really low, meaning that you could see my bra from every angle.

I called the shop where I bought it to ask what lingerie people usually wore with this style of dress.

So off I went to a specialist underwear shop and came home with a bodysuit that buttoned at the crotch and was invisible everywhere I needed it to be.

It also had the added bonus of keeping my belly under control and making me feel like Gwenyth Paltrow.

I know they say pride comes before a fall , and I was seriously proud of my purchases. I guess I should have known it couldn't last. The day of the wedding I got dressed, and after one last twirl in the mirror we walked the short distance from the hotel to the church.

We were a little bit late as always so everyone was standing awaiting the arrival of the bride, we shuffled to our seats and stood until the bride had walked up the aisle.

Glad to finally be able to sit down yes my shoes were already hurting me. I took my place, smiling politely at the people already looking at us because we were late.

Then, with a squeal of pain, I jumped back up out of my seat, attracting the attention of anyone who wasn't already staring.

Red-faced, I slowly eased myself back onto the chair and looked around as if to suggest someone else had made the noise. Turns out, my miracle bodysuit was not as long as my torso and upon assuming a seated position, the unforgiving lycra decided to cut right up into my private parts!

Normally I really enjoy weddings, but I couldn't wait for that one to end. It was really difficult to think romantic thoughts with a stabbing pain between my legs.

After the ceremony, I rushed to the bathroom and closed the bodysuit over my tights, which made it almost bearable, and after a few glasses of wine I no longer cared about the VPL situation.

When I was a teenager, I had to go into hospital for an operation. It was my first time ever in hospital besides being born, obvs so I wasn't down with hospital gown etiquette.

When the time came to put on the offending hospital gown, totally open down the back, I wasn't sure if I should leave my underwear on or not.

So not wanting to be walking around with my bits hanging out, I decided to leave them on. I figured they would ask me to take then off when the time was right.

Four hours later, I woke up with no recollection of anything following the underwear decision, but one thing I realized very quickly was that my bra and underpants were missing.

As I was only 16, I was far too shy and embarrassed to demand their return. Even though the bra was new, denim effect and from a trendy brand that I had saved up for, I didn't want to admit that I had made the wrong decision by not wanting to take it off.

So my parents drove me home, secretly braless and pantless. My mother, in an effort to impress the medical staff, was dressed "for town" and was doused in Chanel No.

To this day, the smell of Chanel No. On a particularly wild night out, I was strutting my stuff on the dance floor, feeling like a diva, head to toe in shapewear , loving the attention I was getting from the cute guys shaking their booties around me.

Then I noticed that the facial expressions of the flirty dancers had changed and I knew something was really, really wrong. Turns out, my super-tight underslip had rolled itself up to my waist taking my dress with it.

In case you have never experienced the boa constrictor-like agony of rolled-up shapewear, that shit is not easy to unroll!

So there I stood, in the middle of the dance floor, exposed from the waist down with no other option than to walk across the whole club in a semi-clothed state to get to the bathroom.

Needless to say, I went home pretty soon after that! My boyfriend and I were at a friends wedding and were both dressed up to the nines and looking fab.

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