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Then, out of nowhere, he told me one day that he wanted to catch me in the act of having sex with another man. Although I have zero sexual attraction to other men, I agreed to try it out.

The question then became where to find a willing male participant. After weeks of talking to trusted friends, we ended up on a swinger's site and found many eager seekers.

Immediately, my husband became way more interested in sex with me. At first I absolutely loved it, although I was curious about why this turned him on so much.

When I asked him, he explained, "I think it's because I always felt a lot of rejection from girls as a young man and even as I got older. I worry that the women I have close relationships with might leave me for other men, and acting it out in a controlled environment actually makes me feel safe.

He knows I would never leave him, but he likes to imagine that I'm a dirty girl who likes to have sex all the time with strangers behind his back.

He even likes it when I sext with guys while we're having sex together so he can read it. So, how is this for me? I have done this a few times for him now, and I've found that I do not physically or emotionally enjoy the sex with other men.

I am able to go through the motions and act like I love it. I have yet to achieve an orgasm during sex with someone else.

Usually after we've played, he claims his interest in me having sex with other men has started to wane, but then, after a few weeks, it always returns.

I have now refused to do another cuckold scenario until he's willing to fulfill some of my fantasies as well, although that has not yet happened.

He keeps getting stuck on this same cuckold fantasy. I suppose it must be amazing for him, but it does nothing for me. In the end, as always, it depends on you and your partner.

If one or both of you has a cuckold fantasy, it's worth talking about. Indulging this fantasy has the potential to improve your relationship and make you stronger as a couple, but it takes careful planning, communication, and honesty throughout the whole process.

And, if you're curious but don't want to go all the way with a stranger, try role playing a cuckold scenario first!

Remember, no matter what, you are in control, and you have the freedom to explore your sexuality however you want. As long as you keep an open mind and communicate well, you and your partner can be happy together no matter how adventurous or vanilla you decide to be!

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She may be back the same day. If not, she will return the next day somehow looking triumphant. In fact, this pretence of leaving has become so shallow that instead of taking her packed bags, she now makes a habit of hiding them in our house so she doesn't have the hassle of carrying them.

What were the arguments about? Some of them were the usual accusation that he was playing around with other women. Often, it was that he spent money on something she thinks is wasteful.

But it is HIS money! He pays her a generous allowance. When Thai women do this routine of trying to stop their farang boyfriends spending their money, I always think there is a simple ulterior motive.

If their farang boyfriend is spending his money, then there is less leftover for the girl to squeeze out of him for herself. This girl has already told my wife she has three other farang boyfriends.

This is one of the things us westerners just don't get. It is not only that they play these games and deceive their boyfriends.

They think it is something to boast about and if they can boast about it right under their boyfriend's nose, all the better. Why she thought my wife wouldn't tell me, I don't know.

She probably assumes all Thai women deceive their farang partners and that my wife would be impressed at her cunning. I wouldn't get involved in other people's relationships except in extreme circumstances so I will not be telling this guy about the other boyfriends.

Anyway, I don't think he is such a fool. He is returning to Europe this week and I doubt if he will be continuing his relationship with this particular Thai girl - but you never know.

The previous occupants of this same house were a European guy and his Thai wife. He worked in Europe for six months a year and lived in Phuket for the other six months.

He had been doing this for years and when he was in Phuket, they always seemed to have a good relationship.

The problem was that for the six months he was away, his wife had to entertain herself. And her vice was gambling.

Gambling really does seem to be a major problem for some Thai women. I know several of the Thai wives on our estate play a regular card game.

They all say the same thing. It is just a bit of fun for small money. I have seen them play and it is not for fun.

They get very intense, there is little conversation and although the stakes start small, they quickly grow.

I have heard of women winning or losing as much as 30, baht in these 'fun' games. There seems to be something in the Thai mentality that leaves them very open to gambling addiction.

Perhaps it is their belief in lucky numbers and fate. Whatever it is, there is good reason why gambling is illegal in Thailand.

It is an endless source of problems, especially for Thai women with money and time on their hands such as wives of farang.

So every morning this Thai woman set off for her local card game. Sometimes she would be gone for two or three days - they really can play that long.

She had been doing this for years and I guess she wasn't losing too much. But then the problems started.

The first sign was when she started asking to borrow money. At first, it was only small sums that we were happy to give her.

But then she wanted 10, baht. I knew this was a sign of a serious problem. She was chasing her losses. The only way she could repay the money was if she got lucky at cards so I refused her the loan.

Of course, there are other ways to borrow money in Thailand. Once one of these girls is on the slope she will keep sliding.

Soon there were rough looking Thai men appearing on her doorstep demanding repayment. She sold their motorbike and started renting one instead.

She sold jewelry and furniture but used the money to chase her losses and the loan sharks kept appearing.

She started disappearing for a week at a time. It was obvious her situation was out of control. Then she was gone. I don't think the loan sharks got her.

She packed her bags in the middle of the night and ran. There were rumours about how much she owed and for those sorts of sums she would have to do a good job of disappearing.

There were calls from her husband asking why he could not contact his wife. When he returned to Phuket, there was no sign of her. She had not returned to her family, or at least not that they would admit.

She just ran away from it all, the debts and the marriage. A good friend of mine was very pleased that his wife was expecting their first child.

His wife's sister was also pleased but for slightly different reasons. She wanted copies of the ultrasound scans of the foetus.

She had an Australian boyfriend who she was siphoning like an old banger. She had already twice convinced him she was pregnant and needed medical expenses.

Then of course, she had two miscarriages and so needed more medical expenses. Now she was trying the same routine for a third time but he was proving a little harder to convince.

He wanted to see the ultrasound scans. So what good fortune that her sister just happened to be pregnant. My friend absolutely put his foot down.

No way would he let his child be used as a tool in a Thai bargirl scam. It is one thing to stand back and watch these girls rip off their farang boyfriends.

It is a totally different thing to play an active role in the deception. Without a copy of an ultrasound scan, her bluff was called and she was caught out.

The Aussie boyfriend dumped her. All kinds of drama followed. She had a Thai boyfriend and together they were living the high life.

Without her benefactor, she quickly ran up huge debts. The Thai boyfriend left her. She got her mother to take out a loan. She defaulted on the loan and her mother spent two days in a cell until my friend paid her bail - after all, she is also the mother of his wife.

So much drama and heartache that you think she might actually learn her lesson. And then would you believe it - the Aussie boyfriend decided to give her another chance.

Now she is spending his money like water again and convinced that everything she did has worked out for the best.

Oh yeah, one other thing she hasn't told the Aussie boyfriend. He is very keen to start a family but she cannot have children. She is infertile.

All these previous stories kind of fade in significance compared to what happened to this guy. I don't know him personally but I know his neighbours.

He worked in Bangkok and came to Phuket at weekends to see his wife. Their relationship was already rocky and they were working towards agreeing an amicable split.

They owned the house but there was still an outstanding mortgage.

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Her fantasy may be a secret affair with a celebrity, someone at the office, or perhaps just a sexy and willing figment of her imagination.

Most women never act on these normal, healthy impulses, but some couples do -- in a totally consensual way. The husband gives his wife permission and encouragement to have sex with other men, while he stays faithful only to her.

It's called Cuckolding, and many committed, loving, and trusting married couples engage in it. The word "cuckold" derives from the name of the cuckoo bird , which has a habit of laying its eggs in other birds' nests.

The association and the sexual implications are common in medieval folklore and literature, although the older usages usually imply that the husband is unaware of his wife's adultery.

In modern fetish usage, a cuckold is compliant in his partner's sexual infidelity. Not only is the cuckold partner happy about and sexually excited by the adulterous act, they also often pick out her outfit for the night, shop for jewelry for her to wear, arrange the hotel accommodations and supply the condoms.

A cuckold, then, is traditionally the husband of an adulterous wife, and the wife who enjoys cuckolding her husband is frequently called a "hotwife" or a "cuckoldress.

Yes, she is church-going and PTA-attending, a doting soccer mom, educated, professional, worldly, and the sweet and innocent lady next door who no one would never suspect had a deep craving to experience new, different, and varied sexual experiences with other men of all ages.

It started out innocently a few years ago when we used fantasy role play in the bedroom to keep the embers burning. One weekend while the kids were away, we slowly stepped away from our normal vanilla world and started to explore and indulge in my deepest desires.

Ever since the first affair, my wife has the "power" in the relationship, and she loves it. We're now playing by her rules, which means playing with others outside our marriage, but no play for me.

Photographer: B arbara Nitke. In all relationships, however, there are many perspectives, and each person's emotions, thoughts, and beliefs take frequent twists and turns.

Cuckolding is not for everyone. For some hot wives, what seems at first like a "have your cake and eat it too" arrangement turns into feelings of confusion.

My new husband and I have always enjoyed our sex life. We have been together for five years now, and our sexual energy together still feels electric.

Then, out of nowhere, he told me one day that he wanted to catch me in the act of having sex with another man.

Although I have zero sexual attraction to other men, I agreed to try it out. The question then became where to find a willing male participant.

After weeks of talking to trusted friends, we ended up on a swinger's site and found many eager seekers. Immediately, my husband became way more interested in sex with me.

At first I absolutely loved it, although I was curious about why this turned him on so much. When I asked him, he explained, "I think it's because I always felt a lot of rejection from girls as a young man and even as I got older.

I worry that the women I have close relationships with might leave me for other men, and acting it out in a controlled environment actually makes me feel safe.

He knows I would never leave him, but he likes to imagine that I'm a dirty girl who likes to have sex all the time with strangers behind his back. He even likes it when I sext with guys while we're having sex together so he can read it.

So, how is this for me? Anyone who has lived in Thailand for a while will have heard stories about farang men and the crazy things their Thai wives or girlfriends get up to.

Sometimes it is just bizarrely unreasonable behaviour. Other times it is a shocking willingness to totally screw over their farang partners.

Some of the things they do just make you laugh but there are other times they take your breath away with the sheer audacity of their actions, their ability to put aside any semblance of morals and just scheme away to their own ends.

Of course, there are other times when it is just their plain stupidity that takes the breath away. The following four stories all happened around my own little housing estate where there are quite a few farang-Thai couples.

They are just a small sample of the things Thai women can get up to. A young European guy and his Thai girlfriend have lived in the house opposite me for the last three months.

They are both very sociable and quickly introduced themselves. We sometimes share a few drinks in the garden He seems like an easy-going guy. She is very chatty and usually happy.

She doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or take drugs which is a promising start for Thai girlfriend material. The problem is she regularly goes completely off the rails.

Every two or three days they have a huge argument. I say argument, but in fact it is usually only her voice you can hear screaming abuse.

She throws things, windows get broken and then there are tears and drama in the street. The upshot is usually that she packs her bags and declares she is leaving for good.

A big show is made of this. She comes to say goodbye to us because she is not going to see us again. She calls a taxi and then stands outside her house shouting to her boyfriend that she is going and he will never see her again.

He quietly stays inside and ignores the whole charade. The thing is we all know she isn't leaving. She may be back the same day. If not, she will return the next day somehow looking triumphant.

In fact, this pretence of leaving has become so shallow that instead of taking her packed bags, she now makes a habit of hiding them in our house so she doesn't have the hassle of carrying them.

What were the arguments about? Some of them were the usual accusation that he was playing around with other women.

Often, it was that he spent money on something she thinks is wasteful. But it is HIS money! He pays her a generous allowance. When Thai women do this routine of trying to stop their farang boyfriends spending their money, I always think there is a simple ulterior motive.

If their farang boyfriend is spending his money, then there is less leftover for the girl to squeeze out of him for herself. This girl has already told my wife she has three other farang boyfriends.

This is one of the things us westerners just don't get. It is not only that they play these games and deceive their boyfriends.

They think it is something to boast about and if they can boast about it right under their boyfriend's nose, all the better. Why she thought my wife wouldn't tell me, I don't know.

She probably assumes all Thai women deceive their farang partners and that my wife would be impressed at her cunning. I wouldn't get involved in other people's relationships except in extreme circumstances so I will not be telling this guy about the other boyfriends.

Anyway, I don't think he is such a fool. He is returning to Europe this week and I doubt if he will be continuing his relationship with this particular Thai girl - but you never know.

The previous occupants of this same house were a European guy and his Thai wife. He worked in Europe for six months a year and lived in Phuket for the other six months.

He had been doing this for years and when he was in Phuket, they always seemed to have a good relationship. The problem was that for the six months he was away, his wife had to entertain herself.

And her vice was gambling. Gambling really does seem to be a major problem for some Thai women. I know several of the Thai wives on our estate play a regular card game.

They all say the same thing. It is just a bit of fun for small money. I have seen them play and it is not for fun.

They get very intense, there is little conversation and although the stakes start small, they quickly grow. I have heard of women winning or losing as much as 30, baht in these 'fun' games.

There seems to be something in the Thai mentality that leaves them very open to gambling addiction. Perhaps it is their belief in lucky numbers and fate.

Whatever it is, there is good reason why gambling is illegal in Thailand. It is an endless source of problems, especially for Thai women with money and time on their hands such as wives of farang.

So every morning this Thai woman set off for her local card game. Sometimes she would be gone for two or three days - they really can play that long.

She had been doing this for years and I guess she wasn't losing too much. But then the problems started. The first sign was when she started asking to borrow money.

At first, it was only small sums that we were happy to give her. But then she wanted 10, baht. I knew this was a sign of a serious problem.

She was chasing her losses. The only way she could repay the money was if she got lucky at cards so I refused her the loan.

Of course, there are other ways to borrow money in Thailand. Once one of these girls is on the slope she will keep sliding.

Soon there were rough looking Thai men appearing on her doorstep demanding repayment. She sold their motorbike and started renting one instead.

She sold jewelry and furniture but used the money to chase her losses and the loan sharks kept appearing.

She started disappearing for a week at a time. It was obvious her situation was out of control. Then she was gone. I don't think the loan sharks got her.

She packed her bags in the middle of the night and ran. There were rumours about how much she owed and for those sorts of sums she would have to do a good job of disappearing.

There were calls from her husband asking why he could not contact his wife. When he returned to Phuket, there was no sign of her. She had not returned to her family, or at least not that they would admit.

She just ran away from it all, the debts and the marriage. A good friend of mine was very pleased that his wife was expecting their first child.

His wife's sister was also pleased but for slightly different reasons. She wanted copies of the ultrasound scans of the foetus. She had an Australian boyfriend who she was siphoning like an old banger.

She had already twice convinced him she was pregnant and needed medical expenses. Then of course, she had two miscarriages and so needed more medical expenses.

Now she was trying the same routine for a third time but he was proving a little harder to convince. He wanted to see the ultrasound scans.

So what good fortune that her sister just happened to be pregnant. My friend absolutely put his foot down.

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